Hey guys, It's Dana and it's time to talk about money and in this video I wanted to talk about some hard truths about paying off debt. ( cash register bell ). Okay, When you are paying off debt, it can get ugly. It's I kind of relate it to the stages of grief.
So there are five stages of grief. Six, if I think first stage is shock right, So you have shock and then denial Right. You deny it
And then anger, bargaining, depression and then acceptance right. So those are all the stages of grief right. Maybe you don't go through them in that exact order, but typically you'll go through them And I think it's the same stages pretty much with debt right In the beginning, especially if it's your first time you're writing everything out.
You're gon na, like oh, how much debt do we actually have? You might not even realize that this is the case for a lot of people. They go in and write down all the debt and they're in shock right, Oh my gosh. I can't believe that we have accumulated this much debt or, I can't believe, all those student loans. I can't believe I took out this much in student loans.
'Cause a lot of times it's shock right,
It's the first thing that happens And then after the shock right then a lot of times it's denial. No way. We don't have that. Oh we're! You know,
Oh, it's not that It's not that big a deal! Everybody has debt. You know that's denial right, You're, denying that you have a problem sort of right.
And then you're angry Really angry about it. Hopefully you're angry about it Should be angry about it. You don't wan na be complacent about debt.
Then maybe there's the bargaining right Where you're like oh we're, just gon na, do a consolidation loan
We're gon na consolidate it and that's going to `` pay it off .'' Which really isn't paying it off. It's just moving it from one
It's like you know from under one shell to another: It's not really gone You're, not paying it off You're, just moving it around, but it's sort of like. Oh, you know we're gon na do this with it. You start to play games with it. Try to figure out a way to you know pretend like you've done something when you really haven't done anything
You haven't paid it off, You've just moved it around And then there's depression where you just feel so defeated by the debt You're. So depressed And I've gone through all of these stages. Honestly,
I'Ve done all of this, where we've been really really depressed about it And then finally, there's acceptance where you realize that there's nothing you can do about it, but to pay it off, Pay it off as fast as you can right. Just you have to pay it off to get rid of it, And so
All right, the hard truths about paying off debt Number one is that it's exhausting It is so exhausting to be constantly focused, which you do need to be focused on your goal of paying off debt to get rid of it. If you don't focus on it, if you're not constantly thinking about how you can earn more money to put towards your debt, how you can save money, how you can cut expenses if you're, not thinking about it, focused on it, then it will never go away right In order to get rid of it, you do need to focus on it.
It's very important, But then that's exhausting It is exhausting to always have to be thinking about it, focusing on it Not obsessing over it. People say oh you're obsessing over it.
No no! No, But like I mean you have to be focused on it, It can get really exhausting. It can be lonely. It can be incredibly lonely to be paying off your debt, because, even if you have really encouraging supportive people in your life, they might just be like. Oh you know they support you, but they're not doing it.
They're, just they're still going out, Maybe they've already gotten out of their debt right, So they're still going out going to dinners doing fun. Things like you know, living their lives Like they're. Supportive, Like this happens, a lot where they're, supportive but they're just sort of like. Oh yeah, yeah sure sure
Sure they're gon na really do that, Like they don't believe And once you've gotten there and you've gotten out of debt, then you know most likely those same people are gon na, be like wow. How did you do that? Like all of a sudden? It's like you know once you've succeeded, then they are all coming around like being really supportive. You know now that you've actually have made it happen, But when you're on the journey it can feel really lonely because people like I said, they're supportive but they're still out doing stuff most likely right.
So hopefully you have some people, your partner or some other people who are willing to come over and hang out with. You do some free things, while you're trying to pay off debt, but it can get really lonely.
Just feel kind of like you're, just even if you're online you're part of communities, you just feel like man, it's like everybody else is just going out being normal right. Getting new cars buying new clothes new shoes going out to dinner, You just kind of feel like I just yeah, okay,
Sticking with the fight just month after month after month can just start to wear you down All right. Another hard truth is that you're going to screw it up, You're gon na screw it up right. It's just a fact: you're gon na make some mistakes as you're going along Nobody's perfect and we all make mistakes and it's part of the process, part of the journey.
You're not trying to make mistakes you're not trying to screw it up, but most likely you are going to screw it up.
Important part is to get right back at it, Get right back at it and don't quit All right. So next is that you're going to feel unworthy, Like just you're gon na feel down in the dumps about yourself right.
Because it's a transformation to get out of debt, Any kind of change is hard, So but you're gon na feel kind of bad You're screwing it up you're, feeling lonely and you're exhausted right. So that's really hard to keep your self-esteem up when you're going through that
And so most likely you're going to feel kind of like And other people might not even realize that you're going through this journey And so they're just treating you like you're, you know oh, what's wrong with them. They're completely broke
They can't do anything
Man, they must be really going through tough times, and it just makes you feel like you're, just like ( groans ), You know what I mean ?'Cause. Other people may not not. Everybody may not be aware of what you're doing You're gon na feel. Just I don't know how to really describe it, but I think know you know what I mean. You're just gon na feel bad about yourself. Probably
Okay and then, lastly, it's a hard truth, but it's a good truth that you will change right Because you're going through like I said this is a transformation and it's going to change. You
Hopefully, forever .'Cause all hard things I mean if it's not hard, it doesn't change you right. So you kind of you're going through this hard process and you're gon na be a different person at the end of it, and that's a good thing right.
You're gon na have learned a lot of things. You're gon na be able to be more compassionate towards others who might be going through the same experience and it's a really good thing right. So, if we're not changing we're dying, We all need to be learning growing. Changing as you perceive through life right, So it's the truth.
You're going to change
You're gon na be a different person by the end of it. Okay, So if it's your first time here be sure to subscribe, I'm gon na be here every single Tuesday talking all about money, I'm here to hopefully encourage you to get out of debt live debt-free. So that you can give - and you can change your family tree and you can build wealth,
So that you have options, choices in life and help others, You can't help others, if you don't have any wealth to speak of. How are you supposed to give if you don't have it to give right? Okay and I'll talk to you guys next week,